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Funny Facebook statuses

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If your car is about to get towed, get in it. Tow trucks are forced to stop to avoid kidnapping charges
Status By: anonymous
Adele might set fire to rain... But SpongeBob can make a campfire under water.
Status By: anonymous
tries to spell word

cannot spell word

uses different word
Status By: anonymous
I turned my phone on "AIRPLANE MODE" and threw it into the air. Worst transformer ever.
Status By: anonymous
Tutorial#84 How to kiss a boy:
- grab his waist
- slip your hand in his pocket
- steal his wallet
- don`t even kiss him
- just run
Status By: anonymous
Me: Mom, I need money. Mom: What ? Did you spend those two dollars I gave you in September 2003 already ?
Status By: anonymous
What did the tiger say to the whale? Nothing! Tigers can`t talk. & Even if they did, the chances of a tiger & whale meeting are VERY slim.
Status By: anonymous
My mom 0.000052736 seconds after I open the fridge: Don`t hold the fridge open so long.
Status By: anonymous
When I get naked in the bathroom, the shower gets turned on.
Status By: anonymous
Reasons to date me: I laugh at my own jokes so you don`t have to.
Status By: anonymous
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