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Funny Facebook statuses

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cute things to call your girlfriend:
1. sugar
2. honey
3. flour
4. egg
5. 1/2 lb butter
6. stir
7. pour into pan
8. preheat to 375°
Status By: anonymous
"Truth or dare”
“What’s your credit card number”
Status By: anonymous
I hate when people see me at the store and are like "Hey, what are you doing here?"
I`m like "Oh you know, hunting elephants.".
Status By: anonymous
President Obama can say anything and still make you feel safe.
Obama: "Look.. we gonna die... but we gonna die... TOGETHER!."
Status By: Mimi
Rich People Status Probably Be Like:
1st like gets a new Ferrari
2nd like gets an Galaxy s3
3rd like gets: $1,000
4th like gets a Rolax watch
5th like gets tickets to any Concert you want front row for as many people you want
Status By: Mimi
If your car is about to get towed, get in it. Tow trucks are forced to stop to avoid kidnapping charges
Status By: anonymous
Adele might set fire to rain... But SpongeBob can make a campfire under water.
Status By: anonymous
tries to spell word

cannot spell word

uses different word
Status By: anonymous
I turned my phone on "AIRPLANE MODE" and threw it into the air. Worst transformer ever.
Status By: anonymous
Tutorial#84 How to kiss a boy:
- grab his waist
- slip your hand in his pocket
- steal his wallet
- don`t even kiss him
- just run
Status By: anonymous
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