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Facebook statuses for mans

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I’m not afraid of commitment. I’m afraid of committing to someone who won’t commit to me.
Status By: anonymous
Classic Dad Moves : Trying to convince mom & the kids that spending $350 on a remote control helicopter really isn`t that much.
Status By: anonymous
fart in the car and lock the windows
Status By: anonymous
If you find it hard to be with one person, even someone you genuinely care for, chances are monogamy isn`t for you.
Status By: anonymous
"Dad, do you like being married?"
"Sure. Without a wife, I`d never know how to do things the RIGHT way & I`d still be afraid of death."
Status By: anonymous
Can someone explain to me how women are so bad at poker and chess, But see through my bullshit game and bluffs so far ahead?
Status By: anonymous
When a girl has 50k instagram followers but only 250 Twitter followers, it`s the world`s way of saying "please just shut-up & look pretty"
Status By: anonymous
If your girlfriend catches you looking at another woman, turn to her and say “I’m glad you don’t dress like that.”
Status By: anonymous
I once took a guy to Starbucks because I forgot his name
Status By: anonymous
A woman with a beautiful body is good for a night, but a woman with a beautiful mind is good for a lifetime.
Status By: anonymous
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