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Facebook statuses for mans

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When my girlfriend and I fight, I tighten the top to every jar and bottle in the house. Just so I can say "Oh yeah, you need me NOW, huh?"
Status By: anonymous
Girls will have 30 unread texts and still post "Nobody to talk to"
Status By: anonymous
If a girl ever pulls a knife on you during an argument, pull out bread, ham, & mayo. Instincts will kick in & she`ll make you a sandwich
Status By: anonymous
girls when they`re with their friends vs when ur alone with them is such a huge difference
Status By: anonymous
Women who prefer to have more male friends than female friends are happier, healthier and tend to live longer.
Status By: anonymous
If your girlfriend catches you looking at another woman, turn to her and say “I’m glad you don’t dress like that.”
Status By: anonymous
fifty shades of grey is only romantic bc the guy is a billionaire. if he was living in a trailer, it would be an episode of criminal minds.
Status By: anonymous
Feel bad for girls who give there everything to someone who shares his everything with multiple girls and they don`t even know it
Status By: anonymous
Dear girls,who take pictures in slutty clothing & glasses & label the caption "nerd lol" You`re not a nerd; you`re a whore who found glasses
Status By: anonymous
girls have two moods: "love me" and "whoa, don`t love me that much, bye"
Status By: anonymous
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