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Drinking and eating facebook statuses

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Instagram video - because poorly lit photos of your lunch should also have 15 seconds of loud yelling
Status By: anonymous
When you offer someone food and they decline "MORE FOOD FOR ME".
Status By: anonymous
(1) Vodka is made from potatoes.
(2) Potatoes are vegetables.
(3) Vegetables are good for you.
You`re welcome.
Status By: anonymous
Never go at the First Call of "Come dinner is ready" It is a TRAP for you to set the Table.
Status By: anonymous
Most people want a perfect relationship. I just want a hamburger that looks like the ones in commercials.
Status By: anonymous
That awkward moment when your really hungry and you eat as fast as you can so your jaws starts hurting but you can`t stop.
Status By: anonymous
I hate when I put food in the microwave & it starts making explosive noises so I check & it`s cold like why you gotta play me like that.
Status By: anonymous
The really sad moment when you lose a chip in the dip, so you send in a recon chip in and that chip breaks too.
Status By: anonymous
I wish I was a cat because the fatter you are the more people like you.
Status By: anonymous
I can’t wait until I get that job at Starbucks because I’m going to spell everyone’s name wrong so they can’t instagram their cups
Status By: anonymous


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