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Facebook statuses for mans

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A quiet man, is a thinking man. A quiet woman, is usually mad
Status By: anonymous
That awkward moment when you get a little too emotional while watching The Blind Side.
Status By: anonymous
Newton`s Third Law of Emotion: For every male action, there is a female overreaction.
Status By: anonymous
Here`s a list of 50 things women can`t do. My favorite is the last one.Hahaha

1. know anything about a car except its colour
2. understand a film plot
3. go 24 hrs without sending a text message
4. lift
5. throw
6. run
7. Parallel park
8. fart
9. read a map
10. rob a bank
11. Drive
12. sit still
13. tell a joke
14. play pool
15. pay for dinner
16. eat a kebab whilst walking
17. pee out of a train window
18. argue without shouting
19. get told off without crying
20. work the remote
21. walk past a shoe shop
22. make a decent sandwich
23. not comment on a strangers clothes
24. use small amounts of toilet paper
25. let u sleep with a hangover
26. drink a beer gracefully
27. get a round in
28. throw a punch
29. do magic
30. like ur friends
31. enjoy porn
32. eat a really hot curry
33. get to the point
34. buy plain envelopes
35. take less than 20mins in the toilet
36. sit in a room for 5mins without complaining about something
37. go shopping without phoning 20 friends
38. avoid credit card debt,or any other debt for that matter
39. dive into a pool
40. assemble furniture
41. roll a bogey between ur finger and thumb
42. Connect the Dvd or music centre up
43. not try and change u
44. watch a war film
45. understand why flirting results in violence
46. spend a day by themselves
47. go to the toilet by themselves
48. buy a purse that fits in their pocket
49. choose a video quickly
50. get this far without having argued with at least 70% of the above.
Status By: anonymous
Fellas: Ask her how her day was. If it was bad, cheer her up. If it was good, make it even better
Status By: anonymous
All single ladies, stop saying you should just give up and get a cat.If no man wants you, don’t force an innocent cat to live with you...
Status By: anonymous
Shout out to the girls who friendzone all the good guys and date all the assholes then complain about being treated like shit.
Status By: anonymous
It`s literally impossible for a man to walk by a pull-up bar without attempting to do one and saying "I`m so outta shape bro."
Status By: anonymous
A woman who has no idea how hot she is, is so hot.
Status By: anonymous
How to get friendzoned : 1. Be nice. 2. The end.
Status By: anonymous

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